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by Dennis and Barbara Rainey

Romans 8:1
There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.

Early in our marriage, I experienced some difficulty with depression and low self-esteem. There were days when I would feel like such a failure and would think to myself, I'm just not a good wife. I'm not a good mother. I'm not worthy.

Then Dennis would come to me and say, "It's okay. I love you, and God loves you."

But that seemed too good to be true. I'd look back at him skeptically and say, "You can't love me. I'm just not good enough for you to love me." I'd argue with him, allowing my feelings to overrule the truth.

One day Dennis finally said, "Barbara, I want you to know that I love you and God loves you, and it's the truth. Now, you have a choice as to whether or not you will believe it."

The light came on in my mind, and I thought, You know, he's right. I'm calling him a liar by saying that he doesn't love me because he does, and God loves me as well. That was a real turning point for me in acknowledging the truth, regardless of how I felt about myself.

Poet Edwin Markham has said, "Choices are the hinges of destiny." For me, the choices I began to make that day have influenced my whole life and our relationship. As I slowly began to choose to believe in Dennis's love for me, my poor self-esteem began to lose its grip on my life.

Some people never stop condemning themselves, forgetting that Christ took the punishment we all deserve. You have such a privilege of being able to remind your mate of this truth that "neither death, nor life...nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God" (Rom. 8:38,39).

Prayer:

Read Romans 8 together and pray that God will give you the eyes of faith to believe that He will never stop loving you.

Discuss: In what areas do you condemn yourself? In what ways do you find your spouse's love for you difficult to fathom?

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