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by Dennis and Barbara Rainey

Proverbs 14:26
In the fear of the Lord there is strong confidence, and His children will have refuge.

Perhaps you can identify with a bumper sticker on a school bus that read: "Approach with caution. Driver under the influence of children." That's the way parents feel at times. We feel the effects of being under the influence of our children.

I recently traveled to Seattle to observe two focus groups composed of young Christian parents raising kids under 10 years of age. The five feelings these parents expressed reveal tremendous insight into the impact that raising children has on parents:

Fear. Fathers and mothers talked of their fears of adolescence, of not being able to communicate with their children going through these turbulent years. They were fearful their kids would turn out to be just like them in ways they didn't like. They feared failing as parents.

Guilt. They felt guilty over their mistakes and failures. They wondered if they were ruining their kids. They regretted things they had said and had done to their kids.

Frustration. They were frustrated and even angry when their kids didn't obey them. They felt they had to explain everything too many times to their kids.

Self-doubt. Were they doing it all wrong? Were their expectations too high or too low? Should they just let the underwear lie on the floor? How long should they let a child throw a tantrum? And if they disciplined a child, how could they know they did what was right?

Discouragement. They felt like they failed too often. They saw their own weaknesses-and their parents' weaknesses-emerging in their children. They felt they lacked skills to raise their kids right.

These feelings, I believe, are like the worm that eats away at the apple, and they lead us to hopelessness and despair. It's no wonder that today's parents feel like they are "under the influence of children."

Yet God promises you in His Word that He is your confidence. He is the Master Encourager. As you seek Him, He will be faithful to cause His will to come to pass...in your life and in your children.

Prayer:

With your mate that God will give you the confidence, wisdom and strength to be an effective parent who doesn't give up.

Discuss: Which of the emotions listed above can you identify with?

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