Does She or Doesn’t She?
By Tom Davis

In 1956, the Clairol Corporation launched a new product that revolutionized the beauty industry. Miss Clairol was the first hair-color bath that made it possible to lighten, tint, condition, and shampoo at home in a single step and get results in 20 minutes.

Shirley Polykoff, an advertising copywriter, came up with the line, “Does she … or doesn’t she? Only her hairdresser knows for sure.” Armed with the slogan and 13 ad pages in Life magazine, Miss Clairol took America by storm.

I’ve gotta be honest: Sometimes even my wife may not know for sure what’s going on with me under the surface—on a deeper level, within my own heart—much less my hairdresser. But when it comes to marriage, we should not leave our spouse guessing, “Does he … or doesn’t he love me?” Our spouses want to know for sure.

There are times when we keep up appearances, declaring our love, without that commitment penetrating to a level of truly altering our individual agendas, dreams, and lives.

Even when the roots begin to show.

It’s hard, in our culture, to distinguish between the bona-fide and the bottle, so to speak. Lust, sex, and infatuation are hopelessly jumbled up in our definition of love.

Yet God’s definition is radically opposite: “By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us” (1 John 3:16).

Another way to say this is, “By this we know someone’s true colors.” This brand of love is a commitment to the best interests of my spouse no matter the cost.

Our wedding vows mirror Jesus’ commitment to love us: In sickness and in health (sacrifice). Forsaking all others (priority). ‘Til death do us part (perseverance).

What could it look like for you to let your “real color” show through—backing up your commitment to your spouse with self-sacrificing action?

For more on commitment, read “A Marriage License Is Not a Receipt.”

The Good Stuff: Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. (1 John 4:11)

Action Points: Read Luke 9:57-62. How is your love commitment to Jesus fleshed out in your love commitment to your spouse?

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