Our Adult Worlds Need the Cross
By Ed Uszynski

Driving on I-75 near Exit 141 in Caryville, Tennessee, you’ll see a 101-foot cross greeting you from a distance, a massive silver structure that fills your windshield as you get closer.

Arriving at its base, you’ll also see a huge ranch house structure with a sign on the front saying “Adult World.” The cross rises up out of the ground right at the edge of a massive parking lot surrounding the long-standing porn store.

It’s a bizarre juxtaposition, a stand-off in place since 2003 when a local preacher put the cross there.

Fitting, because the metaphor it represents is a preacher’s gold mine:

• The cross is much bigger than our worst sins.
• The only answer to the darkest parts of our mind is the cross.
• Bring your personal evil and lay it at the foot of the cross.

Take your pick. They’re well-worn but remain obstinately true.

Thankfully.

Because I hate the garbage dump that hides inside me.

It’s not unlike that windowless store: Embarrassing stuff. Relationship-killing stuff. Broken stuff that stays hidden most of the time.

But when the darkest parts of me make their way to the surface, I need Amy’s help to get to the cross. When her darkest sins rear their head, part of my stewardship in her life is to help her get to the cross.

If something evil like pornography or any kind of deviance has come to light, don’t turn against each other.

Instead, turn to the cross together.

Believing the cross is truly our only answer for sins like pornography can sometimes seem—well, scandalous.

But it’s not.

Because only the cross can disarm and absorb the power of real sin. Only the cross can bring the healing you both need.

So don’t turn on each other. Help each other get to it.

Want to pray with your spouse, but you’re at a loss for words? Try these five prayers.

The Good Stuff: But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far off have been brought near by the blood of Christ. (Ephesians 2:13)

Action Points: If you’re not used to your marriage being a constant place of “I’m Sorry”/“I Forgive You,” it can feel challenging to get started. Try steps like these:

• Tell your spouse of your commitment to start this in your marriage. Let them know you’ll be ‘fessing up more frequently and asking for their forgiveness.
• Start by apologizing for a small offense. Or try apologizing at the very beginning of your next argument; you might be amazed how starting with the “log in your eye” (Matthew 7:4-5) deescalates the tension.
• Pray together before bed. Confess aloud the ways you’ve failed that day.

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