Confront in Truth, Affirm in Love

By Rick Warren

“A word of encouragement does wonders!” (Proverbs 12:25 TLB).

If someone came to you today and said, “Let’s go have some coffee; I want to point out all the areas in your life that need changing,” you probably wouldn’t be thrilled to have that conversation. You might think, “Who do you think you are?” You might become resentful, rebellious, and resistant.

Here’s a better strategy. When you have a speak-the-truth-in-love session with somebody, begin and end on a positive note, and affirm these things:

1. You love and care for that person.

2. You will pray for and help that person.

3. You believe that person can change.

Paul did this in 1 and 2 Corinthians by beginning and ending with affirmation. For example, Paul starts one letter by saying, “I always thank God for you,”and ends with, “My love to all of you in Christ Jesus.”Between that he’s dealing with some very tough truths while also giving affirmation in the middle: “I have great confidence in you, and I have a lot of reasons to be proud of you” (2 Corinthians 7:4 GW).

Notice that Paul used the word “and.” Never use the word “but” in a confrontation. The moment you do, whatever you say before or after will be totally ignored and invalidated: “I think you’re a great person, but . . .” “We’ve been friends a long time, but . . .” Instead, use the word “and”: “You’re a great person, and I believe you can be even better.” “We’ve got a great relationship, and I believe there are some things we need to work on.” That’s what it means to affirm someone.

PLAY today’s audio teaching from Pastor Rick

For more Daily Hope with Rick Warren, please visit pastorrick.com!


Experience the blessed life that’s yours in Christ!

Getting God’s Word into your heart is essential if you want to live a life of integrity and experience God’s blessings.

That’s why we’d love to send you these brand new Keys to a Blessed Life Bible Memorization Cards to help you dive into God’s Word and discover his blessings in your life. This 3-day offer is our thanks for your gift today to help more people find hope in Christ.

These Keys to a Blessed Life cards will help you:

• Claim God’s promises for your life
• Walk with integrity in your relationships
• Deepen your relationship with Jesus

Get this brand new deck of Scripture cards to add to your Scripture Box* as our thanks for your generous support. And remember, they’re only offered for a limited time—so request yours as you give today!

*Scripture Box not included. Please call our team at 1-800-600-5004 to order a Scripture Box.

*The USA IRS code permits you to deduct the amount of your financial gift to Daily Hope that exceeds the fair market value of materials you received from Daily Hope.

This devotional © 2018 by Rick Warren. All rights reserved. Used by permission.

You can listen to Rick Warren on OnePlace.com.