Balance and Focus: You Didn't Cause It 

Living Free Every Day®
A ministry of LivingFree.org

Today's Scripture
"We are tempted by our own desires that drag us off and trap us."
James 1:14 CEV

Thoughts for Today
 If you are struggling with codependency--or want to avoid falling into its trap--you need to understand "The Three Cs."

  • You can't cure it.
  • You can't control it.
  • You didn't cause your loved one's life-controlling problem.

You may blame yourself for your loved one's addiction or other life-controlling problem, but you need to accept the fact that you did not cause it. The Bible tells us that each person is drawn into sin by his or her own desires.

Feeling that you are responsible for your loved one's behavior can cause you to experience low self-worth. You need to understand that your loved one is responsible for the choices that have led to his or her problems, no matter what the circumstances may be.

Consider this …
 None of us live in a perfect environment. Parents make mistakes. Spouses sometimes let us down. Friends may treat us badly. But we each have choices about how we will respond to adversity. We can blame other people for our choices, but they are not responsible. God gives us each opportunity to do right and has promised His help--if we want it.

No matter what the circumstances, you have not caused your loved one's problem. He or she has made wrong choices. If you live in guilt over their choices, your own behavior will be controlled by your guilt. You may excuse rather than encourage them to face their mistakes. You may continually bail them out rather than let them suffer the consequences of poor choices. And so the poor choices will continue.

Ask God to help you see the reality of the situation. Ask Him to help you let go of the guilt.

Prayer
Father, I know I've been blaming myself for my loved one's life-controlling problem. Your Word says that each person is responsible for his or her own choices. Help me to absorb that truth and to let go of the guilt. In Jesus' name …

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©Living Free 2020. Living Free is a registered trademark. Living Free Every Day® devotionals may be reproduced for personal use. When reproduced to share with others, please acknowledge the source as Living Free, Chattanooga, TN, www.LivingFree.org. Must have written permission to use in any format to be sold. Permission may be requested by sending an e-mail to info@LivingFree.org