What’s Your Motive?
“I belong to my lover, and his desire is for me.” Song of Songs 7:10
Let’s face it: Sex is a topic on the mind of just about every hus‐band and wife. (Some wives claim their husbands think of nothing else!) The physical union of man and woman is one of the most pleasurable and meaningful aspects of marriage. Yet when a couple engages in sex for the wrong reasons, intercourse quickly loses its significance and can become an empty obligation. The late Dr. David Hernandez once offered some common, “non-loving” motives for sex:
• To fulfill one’s marital duty,
• To repay or secure a favor,
• As a conquest,
• As a substitute for verbal communication,
• To overcome feelings of inferiority,
• As an enticement for emotional love,
• As a defense against anxiety and tension,
• As a form of self‐gratification without seeking to satisfy the other.
God designed sex as an intimate expression of love between husband and wife. Anything that fails to meet that standard leaves one partner feeling unsatisfied and exploited.
Just between us . . .
• When was the last time you thought about making love?
• Does your motive for sex ever fall into any of the above categories?
• Have you ever felt sexually “used” by me?
• How can we move from “having sex” toward “making love”?
Heavenly Father, You have blessed our union with sexual expression. Bless us with emotional and sexual intimacy as well. Thank You for the pleasure and wonder of married lovemaking. Amen.
• Sexual motives from What Wives Wish Their Husbands Knew about Women by Dr. James Dobson (Carol Stream, Ill.: Tyndale House Publishers, 1975).
Listen to today's broadcast of Dr. James Dobson's Family Talk at OnePlace.com. For more from Dr. Dobson, visit the resource center at drjamesdobson.org.
This devotional is taken from Night Light for Couples. Copyright © 2000 by James Dobson, Inc. All rights reserved. Used with permission.
05/27/2019
05/26/2019
05/25/2019
05/24/2019
05/23/2019
05/22/2019
05/21/2019
05/20/2019
05/19/2019
05/18/2019
05/17/2019
05/16/2019
05/15/2019
05/14/2019
05/13/2019
05/12/2019
05/11/2019
05/10/2019
05/09/2019
05/08/2019
05/07/2019
05/06/2019
05/05/2019
05/04/2019
05/03/2019
05/02/2019
05/01/2019
04/30/2019
04/29/2019
04/28/2019
04/27/2019
04/26/2019
04/25/2019
04/24/2019
04/23/2019
04/22/2019
04/21/2019
04/20/2019
04/19/2019
04/18/2019
04/17/2019
04/16/2019
04/15/2019
04/14/2019
04/13/2019
04/12/2019
04/11/2019
04/10/2019
04/09/2019
04/08/2019
04/07/2019
04/06/2019
04/05/2019
04/04/2019
04/03/2019
04/02/2019
04/01/2019
03/31/2019
03/30/2019
03/29/2019
03/28/2019
03/27/2019
03/26/2019
03/25/2019
03/24/2019
03/23/2019
03/22/2019
03/21/2019
03/20/2019
03/19/2019
03/18/2019
03/17/2019
03/16/2019
03/15/2019
03/14/2019
03/13/2019
03/12/2019
03/11/2019
03/10/2019
03/09/2019
03/08/2019
03/07/2019
03/06/2019
03/05/2019
03/04/2019
03/03/2019
03/02/2019
03/01/2019
02/28/2019
02/27/2019
02/26/2019
02/25/2019
02/24/2019
02/23/2019
02/22/2019
02/21/2019
02/20/2019
02/19/2019
And a husband must not divorce his wife (1 Cor. 7:11). The distress young children experience after a divorce remains with them throughout their lives.
02/18/2019
02/17/2019
When faced with the breakup of her parents’ marriage, a hurting teenager used the following word picture in this letter to her father.
02/16/2019
02/15/2019
02/14/2019
02/13/2019
02/12/2019
02/11/2019
02/10/2019
02/09/2019
02/08/2019
02/07/2019
02/06/2019
02/05/2019
02/04/2019
02/03/2019
02/02/2019
02/01/2019
01/31/2019
01/30/2019
01/29/2019
Command them to do good, to be rich in good deeds, and to be generous and willing to share (1 Tim. 6:18). We are most like Christ when we show compassion and generosity to others.
01/28/2019
01/27/2019
01/26/2019
01/25/2019
01/24/2019
01/23/2019
01/22/2019
01/21/2019
01/20/2019
01/19/2019
01/18/2019
Even though you know you're guilty, you can't get the words out of your mouth.
01/17/2019
01/16/2019
01/15/2019
01/14/2019
01/13/2019
01/12/2019
01/11/2019
01/10/2019
01/09/2019
01/08/2019
01/06/2019
01/05/2019
01/04/2019
01/03/2019
01/02/2019
01/01/2019
The fact is, boys and girls are different. God created us that way! Gender confusion, left to itself, is not only damaging to children as individuals, but it can tear families apart and ultimately undermine the stability of society. In our free digital resource,"Are Boys and Girls Really that Different?," Dr. James Dobson lays out the questionable history of this hot-button American issue of gender identity and contrasts it with timeless biblical truth. What can we, as parents do? And how can our culture regain some much-needed perspective?
